This One Flu Over The Cuckoo's Nest

After digesting the alarming news from BC following the recent avian flu scare, I have had meandering thoughts on the issue.

If you eat chicken soup when you have human flu, what's the recipe for bird flu?

A friend of mine recently send me a list of symptoms of bird flu. They read as follows:

1. High fever
2. Congestion
3. Nausea
4. Fatigue
5. Aching in the joints
6. An irresistible urge to crap on someone's windshield.

Not completely satisfied with that list, I sought a second and more serious opinion. From Men's Health Magazine, a source I thought to be deep in detail, offered this:

The symptoms of bird flu are:

1. Sore throat
2. CoughFever
3. Pneumonia
4. Respiratory distress
5. Respiratory failure
6. Life threatening complications

A little more general, perhaps. Symptom number six seems to be "all-encompassing", although one could argue that it just depends on whose windshield you crap on.