It Seemed Like A Cheesey Idea

I read a story in the Montreal Gazette over the weekend about this guy trying to revolutionize the cheese industry by dropping 2,000 pounds ($10,000) of cheese into the Saguenay River and now can't find it anywhere. Two things about the story struck me funny.

1) The following paragraph:
The idea to ripen cheese in the waters of the Saguenay was inspired by a fisherman who told Boivin about a tasty block of cheese he fished from the bottom of a lake a few years ago.

What kind of idiot pulls up a block of cheese out of a river and starts eating it? And what kind of idiot listens to an idiot fisherman who would pump his pie-hole full of found river-cheese?

2) Cheese Boy has already spent $15,000 to find his $10,000 cargo, including $5,000 in new sonar equipment, bringing his grand total of red-column figures to $25,000. Now, I don't know a helluvalot about sonar but I do know it's a high tech sonic method of finding stuff in water and, the last I heard, cheese doesn't make any noise... unless his curds are squeaking.

The guy is described in the story as a 3rd-generation-cheese maker. For the life of me, we can only hope he's the last one in line and is too stupid to procreate. And, with just a slice of processed irony, he dropped his tonne in the Baie des Ha! Ha!.

Many miles away, meanwhile, there swims a school of fish that can't fart.