Punchline News 11-17-05

Following up on an earlier dose of wacky stories, it's easy to see that there's no shortage of 'em.

He Grabbed The Cash.. And Dim Sum

The same gunman robbed the same chinese restaurant twice in one day this week. The robber hit Greenville, South Carolina's First Wok restaurant at 11:30 on Monday then returned nine hours later. Usually, it just takes an hour before you're ready for more.


It's a Hell of a Car

Who knew Satan worked at the licensing bureau? A Wisconsin man, avowedly christian at that, is returning the randomly selected plate selected for his new red Oldsmobile. Transportation officials say motorists occasionally receive plates that are offensive to them. The plates can be returned for a small fee. A bonus grab for the government, eh? One thing is for sure. This is not "Your" father's Oldsmobile, it's "Our Father's".

Must Be Low On Dilithium Crystals

Star Trek's James Doohan's last voyage to the final frontier was delayed this week due to Falcon One's poor engine test. Next month's scheduled voyage will target a January launch, instead.
"Captain. We caunt due it. We doont hawv enoof powarrr!" (Roll your R's when you read it aloud. It's funnier, trust me. No, really.)

Something In The Punch

A bunch of boxing fans decided to stage a card of their own at a recent black-tie boxing dinner in a London hotel. The event was a launch for Mike Tyson's four date promotional tour of Britain. Also in attendance was British champ Frank Bruno but the melee didn't involve the notables. Instead, Tyson grabbed his plate full of ears and finished them up in his room.

Some Stories Don't Require Any Commentary

New Jersey's looking for a new marketing slogan. Don't look here for the punchline. All the good ones are in the story, itself.